|
|
"That's...uh...a
smashing start, Peterson."
- Moffitt |
|
The action begins with one of
the jeeps balanced, one wheel in mid air, on a pointy bit of desert
rock. Moffitt cooly assesses the situation with a supporting comment
to the driver and we suddenly notice that it isn't Tully under that helmet.
[SC: Those
of us paying close attention would instantly have known that Tully
wouldn't get a
jeep stuck on top of a pinnacle. Sure, now and then he might get
a jeep stuck
in flat sand, but never up on a pointy rock.] |
|
"Tully picked
a great time to get shot up." - Troy |
|
Hitch to the rescue!
With Tully all shot up, Hitch has been forced to learn the
difference between a wingnut and a tie rod nut. Good lad! While Hitch
rocks the tire back and forth and looks earnest, Troy bemoans the
fact that Tully's sense of timing at getting shot up was unfortunate.
[SC: Is there a time when it's a
'great time' to get shot up, Troy?] . |
|
"Sarge! Arabs!"
- Hitch |
|
With a handy tie rod
nut (what don't they carry under the seats of those jeeps?)
and a little pushing the jeep situation will be fixed. No
one much wants to push a jeep in the 150F desert sun so are
happy when eagle-eyed Hitch spots two locals on horseback
fortuitously cantering by.
[SC:
With the
entire Sahara desert about them what an astounding bit of luck!
Suspicious I say.]
Moffitt puts his language
skills to work and asks them in what sounds something like French to
help "poussez" the jeep. And they silently agree to assist. |
|
|
|
Their joy with the
extra hands doesn't last long because before doing any pushing one of
the Arabs drops a live grenade under the feet of the lads.
Moffitt grabs it up and tosses it away.
SC: So, in which direction does
Moffitt toss the live grenade? Right at the fleeing Arabs. That's not
a bad idea unless you happen to want to question them later. In
that case it is a distinctly rotten idea. |
|
 |
|
One of the Arabs
escapes the grenade blast and fires a pistol at them so Hitch leaps
to the .50 and mows him down.
SC: Good job, Hitch. Now
we have no one left to interrogate.
[Ed:
Now now, SC, sarcasm is not your style (well,
in truth it is, but we are trying to curb that).
To be fair to the lads, when under fire one might be excused for shooting
for greatest effect regardless of future interrogation wishes.] |
|
"What the
devil was that about?"
-Troy
 |
|
At Troy's command the others
jump to checking the two - now dead - bodies. Are they checking to
ensure themselves that they won't rise up again in attack? Not
so. They are frisking them for clues. |
|
|
|
And clues they
find. They discover that one of the Arabs had a wallet full of
German money and a photo of Troy with his brother. Troy's jaw drops.
[SC: You can see the photo
of Troy and bro here
but not the German money.]
[Ed:
warning - that link takes you to a nitpick] |
|
 |
|
Part Two
|
|
|
The lads drop whatever
mission they are on and hurry back to HQ to report the strange
incident where they are told two things. One, that Troy's brother,
David, has been assigned to the area; and two, that someone must be
trying to kill them.
[SC: Well, duh!
Someone other than Hauptmann Dietrich and the whole Afrika Korps?] |
|
"Just the
obvious. Somebody's trying to kill us."
- Troy
|
|
It is arranged. Troy
(and the lads) will go to El Hakim Oasis to meet David.
[SC: Hakim Oasis? Again? It sure
is a popular desert watering hole for the Rat Patrol. How come they
ALL have to go to meet David?] |
|
"When
hunting rats it's necessary to use the proper bait."
- Major Von Brugge
|
|
Meanwhile on the other side
of the war a German major is intent on hunting down some particular
rats - our rats.
[SC:
Scoundrel! I've seen that Major before somewhere - and he was mad
then too.]
[Ed:
Yup.
He was a mad German in the 'Life Against Death Raid' too. See here.
He gets around and somehow gets a promotion too.] |
|
'The bait' |
|
It's time for that mad Major
to prepare the 'proper bait' for his rat trap - Captain David
Troy, OUR Troy's brother.
David is tricked into
stopping on a remote and lonely stretch of desert road. There he is
captured by some of the enemy - including a weasely Lt. Hardt.
David is hustled away while Hardt is left to lead our rats to the trap. |
|
|
|
Our lads happily
barrel along the road to Hakim Oasis [That
sounds like a good movie title for Hope and Crosby - SC]
but pull up short when they see something ahead - something puzzling.
Something that doesn't look good.
Not wanting to be long
puzzled, they hurry up to the stopped vehicle and Troy literally
uncovers Lt. Hardt's true nationality beneath his drab coveralls. |
|
 |
|
[SC: Not that his heavy German
accent would have been
a tip off .]
They also
discover a satchel belonging to David Troy. With the proof in
hand Troy becomes more than a trifle irritated with Hardt. He
musses up Hardt's shirt creases and then hoists his pistol.
Hardt looks suitably terrorized but begins to remind them that the
Geneva convention will protect him from a wild man with a pistol.
Even though Moffitt points out a flaw in that logic a smug look comes
over Hardt's face. He's been told the Americans are too sentimental
to shoot an unarmed man.
[SC: Troy with a weapon in
his hand is no one to
trifle with but Hardt is being Mr. Silly and goes blithely on
being silly.]
The silliness finally comes
to a head when Hardt spouts off about how Germany will win the war
because they aren't sentimental. Troy has had enough and does a bit
of fancy shooting. Hardt looks suitably startled and
suddenly considerably less smug. NOW he is prepared to cooperate and
take them to David. |
|
"You're a
long way from Geneva, dear heart."
- Moffitt
You won't
shoot. You are an American. Americans are too sentimental."
- Lt. Hardt |
|
Part Three
|
"Your brother
has been a tremendous influence in my life."
- Major |
|
Meanwhile, back at the
ranch...err...at the German camp...The mad Major is explaining to
David how Sam Troy had been a tremendous influence in his life -
negatively in regards his mobility and appearance.
[SC: He neglects to mention that
Troy has damaged his sanity too. If Troy causes madness in the German
officers he contacts, Dietrich ought to seek out a good therapist.
He's bound to need one.] |
|
'the canyon' |
|
The mad Major is of course
planning to trap the rats and punish Troy - with David's help.
Being a Troy, David naturally
says, "Not a chance."
[SC: Did you expect anything else?]
The scoundrel (mad Major)
baits the trap anyway, tying David down in the middle of a well-mined canyon. |
|
 |
|
[SC: Both the rats and the
Germans keep referring to the gently sloping valley as 'the
canyon'. If that's a canyon, then the Grand Canyon deserves a
name far more auspicious.]
There is even a land mine
buried directly beside David so anyone attempting to move him will
surely set it off. Things look very bad for the rats - and David. |
|
"This man's
leading us into a trap. I can feel it." - Moffitt
"You want to
back out? I'll handle it all." - Troy |
|
With Hardt's guidance, at
last our heroes arrive at the canyon, but Moffitt has a bad feeling
about it. Troy gets positively snippy at Moffitt's well-meaning
advice to slow down, and so he completely ignores it.
[SC: So what else is new?] |
|
|
|
Everyone who has them, digs
up a pair of binoculars to check out David's demise. The
rats are appalled, but the mad Major is pleased. Seeing David trussed
in the middle of the canyon, Troy is all for racing right in to
rescue him. |
|
 |
|
Hitch and Moffitt urge
caution and Moffitt tries again to reason with Troy. This
time he uses a less subtle approach - fewer words and more knuckles.
A fist to the jaw gains Troy's full attention.
[SC: Good thing
Troy isn't an officer or he'd have had Moffitt's head for that.]
Troy stops long enough to
decide that the safest route is to take Hardt along as insurance.
Hardt, the weasel that he is, cringes with fear and spills the secret
that the entire area has been mined. He won't go another step. |
|
"Not until
you listen to reason." - Moffitt |
|
Before any steps are taken by anyone, a
little proactive strafing a pathway seems prudent, and is immediately done.
[SC: Far be it for me to be
critical, but I'd worry
that some of
that falling debris might
set off more
mines and blow poor David to smithereens.]
[Ed:Since when have you not
been critical, SC?]
Hardt is then 'persuaded' by
Troy and his pistol to 'get going!' |
|
strafing |
|
Moffitt and Peterson
decide it is high time they find the hidden Germans - for surely
that's a whiff of German diesel they smell. They set off to
create a little diversionary racket leaving Hitch to watch over Troy
and man the .50. |
|
|
|
Part Four
|
 |
|
Halfway into the mine field, Hardt
suddenly grows guts and poor Troy gets another fist to the jaw.
[SC: it is probably safe to say
that this hasn't been one of Troy's better days.
Hardt's, however, is about to get MUCH worse.]
Hitch, ever vigilant at
the .50, promptly and efficiently removes Hardt from further
hostile action - permanently. |
|
"My vengence is
the mission."
- Major
 |
|
The Major is definitely not
any more pleased about that turn of events than Hardt.
Troy, now on his own, reaches
David and begins the delicate task of defusing the mines nearby.
[SC: Darn, but he's good!]
The Major is livid and orders
the various big German guns to get into position to finish off the
rats. What he doesn't know is that Moffitt and Peterson are
about to wreck that option.
[SC: Naturally they
find the enemy without any difficulty,
and without injury or even breaking a sweat, manage to dessimate
them. Darn, they're
good! ] |
|
 |
|
Meanwhile, the Major, still
obsessed with destroying Troy, begins forward on foot to finish off
Troy with his bare hands if necessary.
[SC: He has his side arm just to
be on the safe side
even though he's
seen Troy knocked down twice in the space of 10 minutes
- once even by that disreputable weakling Hardt.] |
|
|
|
Hitch sees the Major
advancing on Troy and David with evil intent, but suddenly Hitch
can't seem to hit the side of a barn door. He's unable to shoot the Major. |
|
|
|
Luckily Troy has David free
at last! He helps him up and they start the long climb out of
the canyon.
In as much as no one seems to
be able to shoot the Major, it is apparently up to him to see to his
own death - by stepping on one of the land mines he himself ordered
buried there.
[SC: poetic justice. That he finishes
himself off
saves Troy from having to kill a disabled and unbalanced man.] |
|
 |
|
With the mad Major and all
Germans in the immediate vicinity now out of commission, Troy and
David, sheltering behind some scrubby bushes, take time for a little
reminiscing about Troy's graduation party.
[SC: They go on about vanilla
extract and who drank too much of it and got sick, and who didn't.
Typical guy stuff.]
[SC: Because of some nasty
scissor wielding near the end of this episode, the last minutes were
cut from the version that SC viewed. She has seen the finale though
and can report that the lads bid David a fond goodbye and then
someone or other drives off into the dusty sunset, no doubt to save
the day somewhere in the desert.] |
|
"Boy, I can
say one thing for you. When you throw a party, it's sure a big one."
- David
"No food.
Lot's of noise."
- Troy |
|
|
